The print version of the book written by Kelley and myself.
Includes a reprinting of Kelley Brannon's abridged poetry collection entitled
"The Suicidal Vegan and other Contridictions"

7" sold separately.

ALL PROCEEDS WILL BE GIVEN TO MRS. BRANNON (KELLEY BRANNON'S MOTHER) OF CHARLESTOWN, NEW HAMPSHIRE

From the book:

what is this?
By daniel

“I am going to get in a car right now, bye.”

Those were the last known words uttered by Kelley Brannon from Charlestown, New Hampshire. The recording comes from a voicemail provided by “E.” recorded on July 15th, 2020. Kelley had apparently left the voicemail in the middle of the night from the Sunshine Inn parking lot in Live Oak, Florida. She was announcing to E. that she was leaving him. The last known ping from her phone came from Live Oak, a small city halfway between Tallahassee and Jacksonville. At the time of this publication, Kelley Brannon is still a reported missing person under an active investigation. She is a part of the 600,000+ persons of all ages that go missing every year in the United States, according to the National Missing and Unidentified Persons (NamUS) database, which is funded by the U.S. Department of Justice.

I started writing this introduction at the end of May 2021, shortly after a two-part special on Kelley’s disappearance for WCTV, Tallahassee’s local NBC news station. It was a special for “Unsolved Florida,” and the tagline was: “It’s a question being asked across the nation, catching the attention of thousands of online web sleuths in chat groups, podcasts, and YouTube videos: What happened to Kelley Brannon?” I was asked again to be interviewed. They wanted me to make a video asking the one-liner “Where’s Kelley Brannon?” like the hashtag that has been trending online now since her disappearance. Again, I respectfully declined. I wanted to control my narrative of my friendship with Kelley and, most importantly, I wanted to fulfill a promise to Kelley.

Kelley Brannon was a dear friend to me for many years. We met in sixth grade, and in high school we were inseparable. As we aged, we still kept in contact, and I would visit her regularly in New York. We were dear friends up until the end of 2019. Therefore, I didn’t want to fixate on just Kelley’s disappearance. It was too limiting. In order to understand why Kelley’s last known words are so enigmatic, you need to understand Kelley and who she was. Thus here, in my way, I have attempted to do just that by telling you my perspective of the person I knew for many years as well as publish/republish some of Kelley’s own writing/work.

What is reprinted here was culled from Kelley’s personal online journals, her personal website, chain and personal emails to me, personal letters to me, and notebooks currently archived with Kelley Brannon’s mother. Kelley was an industrious and energetic person who wrote and created constantly and what I have selected here is only a tiny fraction of what Kelley wrote but I feel like it presents a view of Kelley that I think she would want the world to see. What I have presented here of my writing was largely written shortly after Kelley’s disappearance on July 15, 2020 unless stated otherwise. The writing themes address my grief in my processing of what happened, personal stories that I want to share with you about my life with Kelley, as well as my struggle with how best I can honor my friend.

Kelley was an artist in every meaning of the word, and she created content in nearly every medium. She was a filmmaker, a painter, a photographer, an activist, a performance artist, and near the end, she was an active touring musician. In every endeavor she undertook, she would adhere to the “DIY or Die” ethos and would make sure her art would see light no matter how arduous it would be. In the spirit of this artistic pursuit, I have presented this publication along with a limited 7” vinyl record that my band created. The first song, “Lookdown”, was left over from the recording of the 2019 American Ethos self-titled album. It did not fit with the rest of the album, but it was pulled for this project as a standalone single. While not originally intended for Kelley, I feel that the lyrical themes of the song are appropriate for Kelley and this project. The other song is a cover of “Blueprint” by Fugazi. This is a band that Kelley and I adored for many years, and I dedicate this song in her memory. Kelley was a riot grrl, a punk, and an ardent feminist. Therefore, to have Lisa Mungo sing “Ian’s parts” to my “Guy’s parts” on this cover means a lot to me, and I cannot thank Lisa enough for her agreeing to perform this duet with me. I also want to thank Mike Moschetto for drumming on these recordings, Michael Kinlin for playing second guitar on “Blueprint,” Ryan Stack (Noise Floor studios) for recording and producing these songs with me, Jack Shirley (Atomic Garden Studios) for mixing and mastering these songs out in California. A special thank you to Jim Gray for helping me through the process of editing this manuscript and helping me to press this vinyl at Brooklyn Phono in Brooklyn, NY during the Covid pandemic of 2020/21.

To celebrate Kelley’s life, and to create something special and unique for you (the purchaser/participant/reader), I have also decided to make every record have a different cover in the form of a unique photograph. There were 245 records that were created, and all are unique. To separate the record/photo collection and to have them scattered in the world is, to me, a way of keeping Kelley’s spirit and story alive and relevant. Therefore, and it cannot be understated: Thank You for your purchase. As stated at the time of purchase, all proceeds/money from this project will go to Kelley Brannon’s mother, whom Kelley loved deeply.

A special thank you / appreciation to my parents (who were also Kelley’s second parents for many years) for their careful reading and editing of this document. I want to also thank Cheryl for her reading, editing, struggles, energy, feedback, and friendship during these hellish last few years. Kelley loved you and you continue to be a great friend to her. To protect the privacy of the living, names have been changed or presented without surnames in this document. Some stories have been redacted either out of respect for the living and/or if the narrative was relevant for this story.

Finally…last thing I want you to know right now: Kelley always had a cat in her life. As long as I’ve known her, she kept a cat. It didn’t matter the size of the apartment she had, she lived with a rescued cat. This is important to know because cats are good at mending broken hearts. Their oscillating purrs can help gyrate the atriums of the heart, filling you up with hope and oxygen. Thus, a special Thank You to Mia and Rebecca for your patience, understanding, encouragement, and love these past few years. You both made the hellscape more palatable to navigate through. Thank you for being there the last few years.

Unless some large clue comes through in this case that leads to the whereabouts of Kelley, she will remain a missing person. She will likely not get a funeral. I hated writing this. I hated doing this project. It took me a few years to complete, always hoping that the story’s end would change. I procrastinated and edited until I couldn’t anymore. What you have before you is what we did, what Kelley and I lived, and my accounts of what happened.

Kelley lives. In her work, her words, and her activism. This is a small gesture for my friend, but it felt important to do.

Thank you for reading and thank you for listening.
-daniel Lajoie
Spring 2022

Includes unlimited streaming of LOOKDOWN / BLUEPRINT via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.